The red light means stop!

There's a big red light right in front of you at ACME when you're onstage and when it goes on for the first time, it means you have 30 seconds left, so wrap it up. When it starts blinking, you have 10 seconds. If you keep talking, your mic gets turned down. Embarrassing. We all laugh at the folks who get turned down on Mondays, but this past Monday... it happened to me. I was so frustrated and embarrassed and mad at myself. I don't know what the fuck I was doing,but I saw the redlight and thought I had enough time. Guess not. I had about 5 words left of the joke when I got turned down and Cliff, the announcer, was like, "sorry Carolyn..." Naturally, I ran away with my tail stuck between my legs, avoiding all the scrutiny and harrassment from the other comics. Ever since I started way back in September, I've heard nothing but "if you go over, you're fucked." "If you get turned down, you'll be 86'd from ACME for life!" So of course I was traumatized and saw my comedy career go down the toilet and yes, I wept a bit. I'm just taking me crying over it to mean that comedy really is incredibly important to me and it's something I want to continue doing. They even gave me 25 extra seconds! I was at 3:25 and I still wasn't done with my joke, I'm retarded. The other comics wouldn't stop saying "just don't go over, you don't go over!" which is like, "thanks, I know!" Pointless. It just made me feel like an even bigger moron.

Anyway, so I went back inside and sat in the theater for the rest of the show, to prove that I wasn't some dumbass who got turned down and ran away. Afterward, I went up to the manager and told him I was really sorry and I just wasn't paying attention and I'm so mad at myself. For a few minutes, he played it off like I was totally screwed and I should just give up now, but then he said "pfft, it's ok - just don't do it again - this is your get out of jail free one time pass." What a relief, eh?

So yesterday, I timed out my contest set and without a lot of laughter breaks and going a bit swiftly, I was at 2:30. I'm gonna try it out tonight at Jitter's to see how it might possibly go next Thursday.

They finally put the bios up on the ACME website! Here's mine:

Carolyn Blomberg:
Favorite Comedian: Maria Bamford (great choice!)
As a comedy purist, Carolyn chose the original Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory vs the Johnny Depp version and Joe Rogan over Carlos Mencia. Now, if she could only apply that good taste to her boyfriends (jk/tr). Creative writing and a strong inner voice makes this comedian one to watch.

Woo woo! I don't know what a "strong inner voice" is, but I'll take it.

Come see me perform, guys!

Thursday June 21st 8pm
ACME Comedy Company
708 N First St
Mpls, MN 55401