Laughing or Crying - which one?!

'Sup kids. Two stories to tell, neither very interesting:

Story one:

On Wednesday I went to Grumpy's on Washington for some open mic hilarity. I was the very last comic to go up for the night and I. fuckin. bombed. It was the worst set of my life. I went up there without really thinking about my set and I tried out some half baked jokes that didn't work at all. After sets like that, I generally run away with my tail behind my legs. And that's pretty much what I did. I went home and on the drive home I suddenly got very lonely and insecure about some things. I got to thinking that comedy is the only thing I consider myself pretty decent at and having blown donkey ass that night, I started thinking that maybe comedy isn't my forte. Then I got really depressed and starting wondering what really is my forte in life. What the hell am I supposed to do in 70 years? I know I'm only 21, but I feel like I don't have much time left to figure things out and get going. I feel like I've wasted a lot of time watching tv or googling my name online. I want to do comedy full time and not have a "real" job. I don't want to get up everyday at 8am and take the lightrail downtown where I see shells of people walking down Nicollet to their crappy office jobs. More importantly, I don't want to become one of those sorry souls. 9-5 jobs are not for me, nor are 8-4, 7-3 or 6-2 jobs. I want to be my own boss. I'm sick of not doing anything right for micromanagers in a company that means absolutely nothing to me. The point of this story is, I felt like shit that night and I was forced to consider my life and where it's going which is a very scary thing to consider.

Story two:

Tonight I went to the Joke Joint in Bloomington and did their first ever open mic night. It was pretty fun. I'd like to say I hate the set of the night, but that's relative and debatable. Either way, I think I did a kickass job and I'm pretty sure that was God's way of telling me "y'know what, kid, sometimes you need to suck in order to know that you're not really that awesome - here's a killer night, though - enjoy!" and then He patted on me the shoulder, turned around and starting walking away, turned back momentarily, threw me a baseball and kept walking into the sunset. The owner of the club, Ken, told me he was looking for emcees but he couldn't afford to pay right now. Kind of a bummer, but I'll take all the experience I can get right now. The point of *this* story is that I think comedy really is what I want to do for a career.


I went to the hospital today to visit a friend's friend who got into a really bad bike accident and I realized that I don't really like hospitals all that much... I was planning on being a nurse, but I've wanted to be a comic for much longer. The only reason I chose nursing was because my mom's a nurse, my aunt's a nurse, my great aunt's a nurse and so on and so forth. I would have a totally steady job with benefits and all the praise for being a good person a girl could want. Part of me is still somewhat interested in it, but I just can't see how nursing and comedy could work together - timewise, at least. The trip to the hospital was such a downer and I just can't see how I could go from such a sad environment to a comedy environment without going absolutely psycho somewhere down the line. Now is the time to decide, though. I'm on the brink of paying thousands of dollars to get a degree that I don't even know if I want. I'm having a really hard time figuring it all out.

I went to the Nick Swardson show last night at the State Theater downtown which kicked ass. I had heard most if not all of the jokes he told, but it was still really really cool seeing him perform in front of 1k+ fans. All I could think while he was up there was "holy crap, I want that!" The sound of hundreds of people cheering and clapping and most importantly, laughing must be such a high. Hell, I got high from the residual laughter, it was great. After the show, we all went to the Chamber's Hotel down the street and partied it up with Swardson and the guys who opened for him: Owen Benjamin, David Huntsberger and Patrick Keane. All nice guys, except for maybe Owen who wound up being a douchebag by attacking my religion and other very personal aspects of my life. I know he was drunker than friggin Lindsay Lohan, but it still stung a lot. Not a fan of Owen Benjamin, that's all. David Huntsberger, however, is one of the nicest and coolest comics I've met yet. He just recently started doing comedy full time and he's travelling all over the states doing it - how awesome, eh? He's featuring at ACME this week with Doug Benson - not a show to be missed, my friends.

Alright, this blog is too long - hope you read it all and didn't shove a pen in your eye in the process

Peace