Ch-ch-changes

I've tried writing this blog at least 3 times and everytime something has gone wrong and the entry has been deleted or effed up hardcore. Hopefully this time will work
out.

Since Monday was Memorial Day there was no ACME, so I went to an awkward barbeque instead and almost passed out - possibly due to the questionable meat being cooked there. It was a comedy free weekend - however, tonight I'm going to Jitter's 99 Cent Comedy Hour and Grumpy's Death Comedy Jam on Washington to try out my three condensed minutes of comedy genius for the contest.


Speaking of the contest, it's coming up right fast. Next week, in fact, is the first night of the competition. Wednesday night, 5 comics will go head to head to see who really is the "funniest person in the Twin Cities." I got my date for the contest - Thursday June 21st at 8pm so mark your calendars! I'm getting a little nervous just typing about it, but I really shouldn't worry. A.) half of these comics have never actually been onstage before and B.) it's not the end of the world if I don't win the contest much less the night (every night, one comic wins and gets some rinky dink prize - Tommy got an Xtra Large Rolling Rock t-shirt on his night).



It'll be really cool to perform in front of a paying audience. Apparently the weekday audiences are much different than Monday's. Some other comics have said that weekday audiences expect less than Monday audiences, which is weird to me because weekday audiences pay and Monday audiences just drink. Maybe it's because the Monday crowds are generally the same folks who come out weekly or twice a month or so to check out the new comers and the weekday audiences are folks who've never seen standup live or are just there for a bachelorette party. Hopefully they'll be easier to please - we shall see.

Alright, that's it for now - C.Blo out.

Chi-town and the Bammer

Tommy and I went down to Chicago this past weekend to see Maria Bamford and Jackie Kashian do a show at the Lake Shore Theater. It was simply awesome. It had been a while since I had actually sat in the midst of a crowd during a show but this time, we sat 4th row center. I chose those seats because Maria Bamford does a lot with her
face during her shows and I wanted to see how she did it - to learn, if you will. I've gotten ahead of myself, let's start from the beginning, shall we?

We left Minneapolis at around 7:30am Friday and arrived in the Chicago area at 2:30pm. We stayed in a skeezy Days Inn motel - a motel, really? We couldn't poney up and go for vertical lodging? It was cheap but clean and we were only staying for a night, no big deal. We went to Target, because that's what you do when you go on a trip - go to a place that's exactly like the one in your home town. And it was. Targets don't change from state to state from what I've noticed. We walked back to the motel, I took a shower and Tommy took a nap and then we headed to the theater. Mapquest claimed that the drive to the theater would take approximately 10 minutes. It was 8 miles or so from the hotel, but due to the horrendous Friday night rush hour, one lane roads, lack of parking, one ways and asshole drivers not to mention the homeless people who have the balls to actually walk INTO traffic to ask for money, the trip in total took a half hour to 45 minutes. Thankfully, we left early enough that we didn't miss anything and we still got there early. We did, however, have to pay 15 dollars for 4 hours of parking... ridiculous.

Since we know the incomparable Jackie Kashian from ACME, she was kind enough to put us on the comp list for the night - we saved 50 bucks just from that. Before the show, Tommy and I were walking around the neighborhood looking for a coffee joint (driving for 7+ hours wears you out pretty fast - granted, I was the passenger for the entire trip so I really have nothing to complain about) and we saw Maria Bamford walking down the street, looking very determined and very much not like what I thought she would look like. Seeing her on teh webzorz and on tv, etc I thought she was much shorter than she is. Granted, she was wearing a pair of black heels that made her maybe 2-3 inches taller, but still - apparently she's 5'6". Interesting. Anyway, the show started and was opened by the artistic director of the theater who is not a comic and was very nervous to introduce Jackie and Maria. Not much to say about the actual show other than it was amazing - I'll get to my thoughts on Maria in a second.

After the show, we awkwardly stood around waiting for Jackie and Maria to tend to their adoring fans. We weren't sure if it was kosher to ask them to go out for a drink or not, but they ended up asking us to go out for coffee with them which I'm right glad about considering booze + nerves = vomit and subsequent embarrassment. Then again, caffeine + nerves = not much better. There were six of us total, Jackie and her brother, Maria and some guy she went to highschool with and Tommy and I. We went to this posh little cafe called Argo where the drinks were surprisingly cheap. I paid for Jackie, her brother, Tommy and I but Maria insisted on paying for herself, saying that she had just gotten paid but thank you for the kind offer. It wasn't long before the shop closed and we had to part ways, but talking to Maria about comedy was eye opening and wonderful. I shook her hand and she said "us women gotta stick together in the comedy business" and I was like, "f'real, shiiiiii(t)" and she laughed, saying that she hopes to come to Mpls for a couple days to do a show and an open mic. She hates coming for weeklong shows because of the radio, she says it depresses her.

To wrap it up, we went back to the motel, passed out on the bed, woke up at around 8ish, had our free continental breakfast, explored Chicago for a bit going to the pier and the Field Museum and then made the journey back home, getting back at around 10:30pm. All in all, it was a decent trip but I wish we could have stayed longer or hung out with Maria and Jackie for a little longer.

My thoughts on Maria Bamford: I think she's wonderful. She has such off the wall ideas that the only way I can think of even thinking of those types of ideas is to imagine crawling deep inside my brain and pulling things out at random without censoring myself. I wish I could do that, but I'm really not confident enough yet. It was interesting to hear her thoughts on her own comedy. She said she was worried that she was doing too much material on her family and she was afraid people would get bored with it or it would pigeon hole her into some genre of comedy. It's so cool to hear a successful comic like that whom most fellow comedians consider to be a 'genius' not be confident in some of her material. Also, I realized that her voice onstage isn't really her voice offstage. She has a relatively high, squeeky-ish voice onstage and I think she does that to enhance her other voices, make them seem even more different than her real one... if that makes sense. When I got back to Mpls, I wrote her an awkward Myspace message saying that is was nice to meet her and I hoped the Saturday night show went as well as Friday's show. She wrote back and pretty much said "ditto, hope to see you in MN or LA!" - sweet.

Anyway, this entry has gone on far too long - ACME is tonight and I need to brainstorm.

Holla!

-- C.Blo

The Bammer

I didn't get on at ACME on Monday which sucks because 3 of my friends came to see me. They still had a fairly decent time watching the show, though. I think they got angry with me for spending more time with the comics than with them, but the thing is - I don't go to ACME on Mondays to get wasted and watch comedy, I go to try out new stuff, to meet new comics, and to "talk shop" with them about different techniques and things. 2 of my friends got shitfaced *and* high as kites... if anything, it was embarrassing for me. I don't like to associate myself with people who do anything in excess. I steered clear from them on Monday because I prefer their company when they're not under the influence, they're just annoying when they're high and drunk - especially at the same time.

Anyway... I'm going to Chicago this weekend to see Maria Bamford. That is, if I can scrape enough cash together by Friday. I just checked the old bank account and it turns out my landlord is a jerk. Apparently one of his favorite past times is to sit on checks for 2-3 weeks before cashing them, just enough time for his tenants to forget they even wrote him a check...

I tried posting a video with all of Maria Bamford's "TV episodes" from her mom's attic, but Blogspot doesn't approve... here's a link:

The Maria Bamford Show!

Please do check it out, it's quite awesome.

Also, for anyone who's on myspace, I changed my page from a regular one to a comedy page - how exciting! I wasn't sure if it was kosher for me to do that yet or not having not actually been paid for doing comedy yet... but I figure it's been approximately 9 months since I started doing it and about 10 years of wanting to do it - whatever. Here's the link:

My new Myspace page!

Until next time,

The Atomic Car Blomb... yeah, maybe not the best nickname...

Poop and Hitler - what a beautiful combination...?

I, being the moron that I can be at times, forgot that signup at ACME ends at 7pm. Thinking it ended at 7:30, I left my apt at 6:45... I ran in just as John (the manager) was taking the list away to make The List for the night and I plead with him to let me sign up. Pathetic, I know, but apparently it worked because I got on.

My set tonight was awkward at best. For me anyway. I got a fair amount of compliments on it, but I've been so hard on myself lately it's just natural that it seeped into comedy. I fucked up my very first joke but I recovered well. Then I did a poop joke. A poop joke! Who does a poop joke at ACME?? I felt like a first timer again. But it went well and it was the best joke of my set with a decent punchline. And rather than a one-liner type joke like I've been doing lately, it was a story. I also can't believe that I followed a poop joke with a Hitler joke... *geesh* They went over pretty well and it was a decent set but I always get embarrassed right afterward and I tend to run to the bar area rather that sit back down with the other comics. I got paranoid when I was onstage that the comics in the back weren't laughing at my jokes but directly at me, like they do for the first timers. It didn't exactly help that I mentioned being nervous before going up and a few comics said "don't worry, you'll suck - everyone'll hate you - you'll never get on here again - have fun!" Assholes... That could be the reason I was so weird tonight. That and the fact that I didn't really prepare and I haven't been writing much and I generally don't practice my set outloud until I actually get onstage. I wait to vomit something good up. Running it through my head over and over before going up makes me more nervous and it makes for rehearsed comedy - comedy should not be rehearsed. It shouldn't *sound* rehearsed at least.

I got offered a few opportunities tonight, too. One is a "women's festival" type of thing - I don't know if it's like a women of comedy showcase or what, but Mary Mack (see to the left of the page for a link) told me about it. She also informed me that there will be a standup contest in Burnseville this summer. She didn't give me details, she just mentioned them and said she'd email me about them later on. I hope it works out, I need more places to go than just ACME. Also, it'd be good practice for the ACME Funniest Person in the Twins Cities contest. I need to perfect my three minutes.

Also, I've been a little saddened by the fact that only 1 person has seen me perform. I've had a lot of people say they'd come and then not show up. I know Mondays are a weird night to hang out, but c'mon - it's free! Maybe it's for the best. I'm planning on inviting a ton of people for when I do the contest - that way they'll see me for the first time and therefore (hopefully) think I'm funny, thereby giving me more laughs. I'll let you all know.

I've been really down lately. I mean *really* down. God knows why. It makes for shitty comedy writing. I said I was "wired wrong" to my friend the other day and he said "no, you're just wired *differently*" - either way, it's no fun. I want to have an excellent summer filled with comedy, concerts, camping, tanning, swimming, drinking (but not to excess) and moving back home where I'm happy and comfortable in my little cocoon with my puppy and free internet, food and rent. It's heaven I tells ya.